I am all over the place with my exam preparation. Here are the reasons:
- I have no “home” study space. Currently, I alternate between a receptionist desk (with interruptions), two UT libraries, the Lakeway library, and occasional clear off the kitchen table sessions when no one is banging on things at the house. Oh, and most of my books are in a window-less office space that I’m squatting and only visit once a week. (Hope I picked up the right articles!)
- My cognitive load in life is high. New house, new job, new phone, new laptop (forthcoming), new commute, new car bike rack, new headlight, new tire, new health insurance. Figuring out mail, finances, address changes, appliances, how to load a women’s bike onto car bike rack. Many things that are usually automatic are not at the moment. It’s like having 50 small programs running in the background on a computer, then trying to use a power-hungry program. It works, but it’s slow and inefficient.
- I’m stuck in my messy dissertation proposal. I reaaaally just want to go clean that up and add new ideas and use that for grant proposals, but then I think, no, I have to focus on my exam questions, and I read widely but not with a goal-orientation, and then I still have to write a prospectus based on the main ideas of my proposal. I feel like a dog chasing its tail.
- Test anxiety. I’ve read about it, and I understand it, but I can’t escape from it. I’m currently in the mode where my expectation of success is low, but the importance of the goal is high. It’s like a blocked cog.